Fuji-san

“He who climbs Mount Fuji once is a wise man; he who climbs it twice is a fool.”
-Local Proverb

And my mama sure didn’t raise no fool. I have conquered Mt. Fuji. Japan’s tallest mountain at 3776 meters is one hell of a climb, but the pay off is absolutely astounding. We decided to climb Fuji-san at night to avoid the heat and to watch the legendary sunrise from the top of Japan. We started the climb around 9pm and to be completely honest the first hour or two were extremely difficult. The incline is intimidating to say the least and after two hours of walking up straight rock in the pitch black I began to feel slightly overwhelmed at the journey I had gotten myself into. There were ten of us total all with varying degrees of experience and as someone who grew up in Tahoe and have been on a few backpacking trips I was one of the most experienced of the bunch. Which—anyone who knows me—can attest to the fact that this mountaineering expedition was being led by an extreme amateur. As we continued our climb we soon broke the timber line and were able to turn off our flashlights and walk in the moon light. The terrain drastically changed from rocky trails to loose gravel and was extremely hard to navigate. Intent on getting to the top by sunrise we all kept a pretty even pace, but as the night wore on it became increasingly obvious that the entire group was starting to feel the effects of unabated mountain climbing. Around 11pm we were high enough to see a substantial view of the surrounding area and the city lights set against the forested region around Fuji-san was a truly breathtaking vision. Continuing our slow but steady trudge up the mountain we began to feel the temperature change and soon layers were brought out and the bundling began. The incline began to get more and more intense and soon the feeling of walking but not really going anywhere was upon us. The encouragement amongst the group was essential and we all tried to keep our spirits high, however a few of our members started experiencing altitude sickness that is an incurable hazard of climbing such a high distance in such a short amount of time. Right around midnight we passed the cloud line and as I paused to rest and turn to see the distance we had covered in little less than three hours and I was taken aback by the scene that lay ahead of me. It was nothing short of magical. We had passed the cloud line and so the city lights had disappeared leaving a faint yellow glow beneath the clouds. The mountain range directly across from where we stood was experiencing a lightening storm and as each bolt hit the earth the sky lit up and it felt like I could see across the world.

When we reached the last station before the top the number of people on the mountain tripled as those less ambitious hikers stumbled out of the Station 9 hotel ready to complete the final leg of the journey. A mass pilgrimage of sort, we all fell into line as hundreds of hikers trudged up the last and most difficult stage of the climb. There were moments when I had to practically pull myself up to the next ledge and for a solid two hours we could all see the top, but could not quite seem to reach it. At 4am, after a 7 hour climb to the top all ten of us reached the top and 30 minutes to spare before the sun rose. Unfortunately the temperature by this point was beyond freezing and we waited with anticipation for the sun to rise exhausted and freezing. I read a quote online that said “watching the sunrise from Mt. Fuji was like watching the clouds give birth to the universe” which in so many words is exactly what it looked like. The pictures I took can, in no way, convey the exquisiteness of watching the sun rise from the top of the world. I sat with hundreds of hikers and watched the sun break from behind the clouds and even though I was exhausted and freezing I sat with awe at the accomplishment all of us had achieved. After a 5 hr climb down (so a 12 hour climb total) I felt like I had been body slammed by Mike Tyson and I can honestly say that I have no desire to tackle that mountain again. Whew…Mt. Fuji...what a surreal and yet perfectly magical experience.

ARGGGG.....It has been TOO long since I've blogged. Gomennasai. I am so sorry. So much happened in the last month I feel there would be far too much to talk about. So I'll try to touch upon the important stuff and I apologize if I leave anything out. We'll just have to talk about it when I get home...

1)MK...so as my wonderful sister pointed out, I now live in a country that has always had its independence, so celebrating Independence Day was rather anti-climatic. The dorm had planned to do something spectacular to show the Japanese kids what true American spirit was all about...but the whole "living in Japan" thing coupled with final papers/projects and just plain laziness left us with a less then amazing Fourth of July. We made weird hamburgers...with Japanese indgredients, and of course, despite the "Americanness" of the holiday our meal included gohan (rice). We even bought fireworks and set them off down by the river...but my all time favorite moment of the day was the watermelon popsickles that someone found to replace the expensive and highly unattainable watermelon. They tasted like watermelon jolly ranchers...and had chocolate seeds embedded in them. Completely subpar to the real deal, but at the same time it reminded me of the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
-School is finally over. Thank the lord above. Although in all honesty the difference between "school" and "no school" is rather small. I gave a thirty minute presentation about abortion policies in Japan and wrote a paper about Okinawan women and took my final in Japanese...and that was it. I'm glad I'm done. Meigaku was...an interesting experience. I will look forward to returning to an actual academic institution but I do appreciate the time I have spent within these academic halls.
-While I didn't see Star Wars in the theaters I did see War of the Worlds which confirms my belief that a)Tom Cruise is the worst actor ever, b)Dakota Fanning is the most frightening/irritating actress ever, and c)Steven Spielberg has so much shmaltz spilling out of his awful movies these days that any attempt at real drama is clouded by his attempt to teach "family values". Ug. Just ug. Highly disappointing.
-The month of July is shaping up to be a fantastic and exciting time. Climbing Fuji on Monday and it's off to Okinawa on the 25th. Apparently it's the "Hawaii of Japan" so I am excited about the scenic views. But more than that I feel that it is something I must see...I must stand there...just as I had to go to Hiroshima, so too as an American, I must go to Okinawa. (Who talks like that?...Good lord.) It will be a nice vacation of sorts before I come home which...

I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT!!!!!!! I am so nervous to come home it's not even funny. Part of me is nervous simply because I've been away for so long, but on an entirely different level part of me is nervous that I'm going to have culture shock. I met a white guy from Pennsylvania the other day at Starbucks and he was really nice and I'm sure he was a legitimately decent human being and all I could think of when I was talking to him was, "...why are you white?" I have forgotten how new and exciting everything was for me...have forgotten that everything seemed so weird and out of place...have forgotten how it felt when people yelled at me in stores...have forgotten how it felt when I couldn't read the train signs...have forgotten how enthralled I was by the plethora of temples and shrines...have forgotten how sick I got when I ate the food...how mcuh I hated the beds...the bugs...the smells. I have learned so much from living here. I know that it will be an ongoing process that will last a lifetime...but at times I am overwhelmed at the feeling of being a global citizen. Yes...the stares never stopped and just today some random fool on the street asked me "Why are so beautiful...can you teach me English...I live very close here...you can come teach English to me" (haha...um...I'm gonna have to say um...hell no to that) but at the same time I realize that I am living in a country of millions and millions of people...who are just like me. We're made of the same stuff...we have the same wants and desires and dreams and goals...and however different we may look, the fact that I want to see my mom and give my people some long awaited hugs and I don't want to be lonely anymore...reminds me that we are defined by the people we love...not our nationality.

This trip has been exhausting. I plan to sleep for two solid days when I get home...which is in less than 24 days...and then I expect to see every single one of you. Yeah yeah yeah...I've learned alot about myself by living alone and sleeping alone and doing things without any help and without any support...but I'm done. I'm coming home mama! I'm coming home!

Ame

I just got back from school and I have retreated to my room for a quiet moment of peace and some cool air. I have the air-conditioner on full blast in an effort to bring my body temperature back to a reasonable degree, however I feel as though my blood will remain a few notches above normal for the duration of my stay here. It's so damn hot! Japanese weather is not something you take lightly. While many of the social customs encourage the sacred art of "bullshitting" and insincerity, the weather--particularity the heat and rain--take their jobs very seriously.

But Japanese rain is magical. I've never encountered anything quite like it, and as a connoisseur of sorts, I would argue that Japan actually has the best rain. First and foremost the buildup is nothing short of professional genius. A few days in advance the entire make up of the sky will change. There are no clouds...it just gets really hazy and the skies become thick with anticipation. Slowly the pressure will build and the heat will increase and it will get so humid that the idea of rain is the only solace from the furnace like temperatures. Again, no clouds will actually form, it's more like the color intensity of the world will get turned down a few degrees and everything looks sort of like you're looking through a camera with a nylon pulled over the lens. The few hours before the skies finally open up it is so humid that it already feels as though it is raining...almost as though there is so much moisture in the air that even walking feels like you're wading through water. And then, only moments before the whole world screams out of frustration the rain will finally start. At first just a few sprinkles and then a week long build up of moisture and condensation will release it's load.

And there are so many different kinds of Japanese rain. My personal favorite is the big fat alligator drops that seem to fall so slowly that you can almost see each drop individually. Although a strong contender for this is the rain that seems to come from the ground up...simply because it is so mind boggling to me that after a 40 minute stroll in the rain the only part of me that is wet is back side of my upper leg. I have never lived in a place when one of the seasons is "rain" so this has been a learning experience to be sure. I will miss the rain when I go...it's very conducive to thoughtful meditation that often is my only sanctuary from this crazy land where I live.

If my observations on rain are correct then it will rain again tonight or tomorrow morning. Thankfully I don't have any huge plans so a quiet day with my tea and good book will be a welcome change.

Two Month Marker

June 7th--

Well my fellow Americanites, today is June 7th. Which means in exactly two months I once again get to live in a culture where they drive on the right side of the road and store clerks don't incessantly shout "IRASSHAIMASE" (Welcome to our store/Can I help you) every time I walk into a store and in rapid succession every 30 seconds until I leave the store. I thought...seeing as how this is my two month anniversary I would write a sort of "update" blog to let y'all back home know how I'm doing....enjoy!

Places I've been--
Yokohama, Tokyo, Ueno, Odiba, Hakone, Zama, Kamakura, Odwara, Ofuna, Fugisawa, Totsuka, Harajuku, Shin-Yokohama, Shibuya, Rippongi, Hiroshima, Kyoto, Miyajima, Etajima, Enoshima Island, Odiba...countless temples and shrines including Ryoanji Temple (home of Japan's most famous and beautiful rock garden), Rokuon-jin Temple (The Golden Pavilion--Japan's most famous Buddhist temples), the Daibutsu (The Great Buddha--Japan's second largest Buddhda), the largest China Town in Japan, the world largest ferris wheel, countless hip hop clubs, many karoke bars, the Louvre Exhibit at the Yokohama Museum of Art, countless sushi and ramen bars, Landmark tower (Japan's tallest building), Shibuya Intersection (the busiest and most populous intersection in the world), and an onsen (traditional Japanese public bath where everyone gets naked and sits around in the heat).

Places I still want to see (even if they are totally out of the realm of possibility)--
Okinawa, Hokido, Korea Town, Nagasaki, Disney Sea, Tokyo History Museum, Tokyo Hills, Tokyo Tower, a Japanese gay bar, Japanese fish market, and Mt. Fuji.

Things I've done/accomplished--
Learned marginal Japanese conversation skills...at least enough to get myself around Japan, stayed with a family for three days without any other American and without any real Japanese skills, rode a Shinkansen (bullet train) , have eaten natto (fermented soy beans that tastes...almost exactly...like 9 different kinds of death), unagi (sea urchin), cow intestine, every kind of raw meat you could possibly imagine (including beef), raw egg, sakura (cherry blossom), green tea, sweet potato and "ice yogurt" ice cream, passed my Japanese midterm with an 84%, took the train by myself to Endoshima Island and spent the whole day pleasantly lost and completely alone and still managed to find my way back home, have become accustomed to bi-weekly earthquakes, tackled the Japanese medical/hospital system with Abby, got my hair cut at a Japanese salon without any language skills and without any idea of what I was doing, managed to find bananas and carrots for a 150YEN at the corner market, and...have made some truly amazing and unbelievable friends throughout all of it (shout out to Francine, Ferdy...and Tom).

Things I'd like to do/accomplish (even if they are totally out of the realm of possibility)--
Climb Mt. Fuji, ride the world's fastest (or tallest...I can't remember which) roller coaster, have an actual conversation with someone in Japanese...not just a grunting and pointing sessions where Heather makes a fool of herself, survive the Japanese heat that will inevitably come in July, drive...just to say I did, get a tattoo...just to say I did, take Japan for what it is...the good the bad and the ugly...and embrace it and take it with me and never forget the time that I have spent here.

Things I love about Japan--
Sakura, sushi, the fact that you hang your bed outside every morning, Japanese commercials, corner markets, children, the sense of history, the sense of passion, the sense of purpose, the unbelievable strive for peace that so many citizens exhibit, the ice cream, the welcoming nature of everyone I have met here, the temples, the shrines, the tea, the food, the crazy clothes and definite 80's punk rock vibe that everyone rocks here, the Japanese mullet...which...in all honesty is the best mullet I've seen to date and as ashamed I am to admit this...actually looks good, the fact that children run around freely, the intricacies put into art and music and quality of life, the fact that I...without knowing anything about this society previously...and with only two months under my belt love...to the core of my being...Japan.

Things I hate about Japan--
The fact that I get stared at when I walk down the street, the trains, the salary men, the horrendous policy towards women and minorities, the American military bases, the racism, the heat, the food, the unbelievable strive for war that so many citizens exhibit, the contradictory nature of this society, the smells, the 1950's post-war architecture, the concept "ganbatte" and "gambari" or "fight to the death" and "succeed no matter what...even if it kills you", the huge spiders, the apathy among so many students, the fact that everyone wears a uniform...the clear class stratification, the fact that my mom, Theresa, Selina, Rachel, Paul, Cassie, Stevi, Eric, Jen, my dad, Chris, and Dani aren't here...aren't with me...aren't experiencing this with me, the fact that I can't sleep, the fact that I have been more depressed than I've ever been in my entire life...cannot find the strength some days to go outside when I know it will be one massive exercise in self-control as I force myself not to flip off every person who stares and points, and the fact that I haven't seen a size 13+ person, haven't had a political discussion with a perfect stranger, haven't been in a store where they don't shout at you, haven't had a Trader Joe's, haven't eaten Mexican food, haven't been with my family and friends in two months...and I miss...to the core of my being...America.

Warning

By the wizzay...the new Star Wars doesn`t come out here in Japan until July. SO...while I may not be the biggest fan in the world and I do theoretically know what happens...no one in the US best be telling me what happens in the movie until I can see it. Haha. Just thought I`d clear that up before I get some random email from someone who loves to give away the endings of movies (COUGH...insert Rachel`s name here). The trip to the movie should be quite an experience. It`s 15￥ if you`re a guy...10￥ if your a girl. Expensivo!

Random Ramblings

Here are some random facts/observations/generalizations about Japan-

1) Japan is the second least sexually active nation in the world. On average (taking into account every citizen) the Japanese "get down" only 36 times a year. Compared to the highest country, France at 131...this is a ridiculously low number. I've decided it's because of the paper walls or...
2) Birth control wasn't introduced in Japan until 2000. Before that the preferred means of birth control was (hold onto your socks fellow Catholics) abortion. Girls still use the temperature/rhythm method because birth control is hard to find...but this clearly is not the most reliable method of making sure you don't get knocked up, so abortion is the most common means of making sure that the average child per couple remains 1.4.
3) Christianity is a fad here...and if you want to be really "fabulous darling" you join the crowd and rock the bling bling crucifix. No one actually practices Christianity (it's something like 0.12% of the population actually identifies as Christian) but many young people really like the way the cross looks so they wear them as jewelry. All the posh stores sell a multitude of crosses in every variation and stone arrangement imaginable...but if you ask someone why they wear it...or what it means...they don't know and they just think it's "pretty." Hmmm...guess they didn't get the memo that it is an ancient torture device.
4) No one votes. Young people don't care about politics...most don't know what their leaders are doing in the world and most could care less what policies are actually being implemented. I tried to ask why...without seeming rude or pushy and the best answer I was able to discern was that young people are most concerned with getting a good job and getting a good salary...that politics become less important. The drive to get a job is huge...and it's hard to get a good paying job in Japan so the competition is fierce. My home stay sister Emi is a student at the Tokyo campus of Meiji Gakuin studying economics. She hates it. Doesn't like economics at all but it was the only major she could fit into...but what she really wants to do is be a flight attendant. Of course becoming a flight attendant in Japan is a lot different that in the US. I think the last time I flew Southwest my flight attendant had four teeth and whether or not she graduated high school was slightly questionable...but here you must be a college graduate and attend a 6 month-1 year training school....and you have to be pretty.
5) Blood type is really important. You have to put it down on applications to schools, jobs, etc. Everyone knows their blood type. Many people believe that blood type has something to do with personality and so it is very important to only match compatible blood types together in a job setting. People with the blood type B (me) are good leaders and very independent. Ha.
5) I was at an "international tea party" the other day and in an effort in initiate conversation I told a Japanese girl that I really liked her shirt. To which she replied, "Oh....I really like your face."
6) My favorite questions about America thus far have been:
-Is Arnold as clean in person as he looks on TV?
-Are Arnold and Clint Eastwood friends?
-Is there a difference between Japanese and American cows?
-Are there twins in America?

Hiroshima

Hiroshima—

We got off the train in Hiroshima, and I instantly felt my mood change…it was if I knew that I was about to walk through a city that had seen the worst kind of atrocity. The city is surprisingly beautiful. There were flowers everywhere, carefully sculpted landscaping, clean streets, families picnicking by the river, people out riding their bicycles and taking their children for walks. I’m not really sure what I was expecting…but this wasn’t it. I wasn’t expecting to be dropped into a city where…if someone hadn’t know that this was the site of one of the worst human tragedies…you never would have known. As we somberly ventured into the Peace Park and I could feel my entire mood change. I tried with all of my might to imagine what it would be like to see a flashing light and have life end in an instant. But that kind of horror is not comprehendible…unimaginable by those of us who have never experienced any sort of real sadness. I don’t know what happened to me, but when I stepped onto the park and saw the atomic dome (the only building left standing after the blast) which is now framed perfectly by an arched memorial…I lost all sense of composure. At first they were silent tears. Then I sat down and sobbed. I couldn’t stop crying. I knew that I was standing on hollowed ground, on a mass burial. Looking across the park, which now is lined with flowers and monuments and strings of paper cranes, and knowing that thousands of people’s lives were ended instantaneously and thousands more endured unbelievable pain and suffering on the exact spot where I now stood was…well it was heartbreaking. After I regained some composure…although not much…I followed the group into the museum, where I proceeded to sob through most of the tour. I had seen footage of the bomb dropping before, but seeing it here, knowing that this footage meant something far more here than it ever did in a classroom was extremely intense. The museum didn’t spare any of us…graphic depictions of the effects the bomb upon the human body—charred corpses, children with their skin melted off, people walking around like zombies—literally without faces, women with kimono patterns seared into their flesh. And then, as if that wasn’t enough there were stories upon stories of people who had to live with the after effects of the bomb. People who developed dozens of different kinds of cancers, their bodies torn apart from the inside. Accounts of children who died violently from vomiting up their internal organs. Tales of skin deformities. Eye lesions. Gum infections. The list goes on and on. I will forever see those images in my head…and again, although I had seen some of them before, viewing them in the place where they actually occurred made them seem more tactile, more real. The museum had a definite message of hope and peace and begged and pleaded that nuclear armament cease immediately. There was an entire wall lined with letters written by the mayors of Hiroshima over the past 50 years asking countries like France, Russia and the United States to stop nuclear testing and armament. It was heart wrenching to think that so many people have died in vain and the pleas of those people who were personally affected by the atrocities of such technology have fallen upon deaf ears. After the museum I walked around the park and went to the memorial and saw the paper cranes and stood in front of the atomic dome…and looked at the river…the famous river that is now known for the image of bodies scrambling to reach the shore…it was such a surreal experience, and again I cried. The kind of crying that comes only when the only emotions in your entire body are pain, fear, angry, shame, guilt, regret, horror, and intense sadness. I have never felt the desire to pray more strongly and it was only because I had nothing else to do. I had nothing to say or do to make any of it better. I just needed to feel as though God existed, because otherwise the pain was too much to handle. I wanted to pray so badly…to have someone tell me that it was going to be alright, and even though humanity had failed on a profound and fundamental level, things could still be remedied. I understand why people look to God and religion in times of intense sadness…I understand that sometimes life is so painful that the thought of going on alone, without some divine purpose or plan is too devastating.

After we meandered through the park the UC students attended a lecture where we heard an eye witness account of the bomb from a woman named Teramae. Teramae was 74 years old, had lived with multiple kinds of cancer, was horribly deformed from the blast, and had lost her mother, friends, coworkers and sister all in an instant. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I know I wasn’t able to adequately process all of information she was giving on the subject but there are a few points that I found particularly worth mentioning-
--The bomb was dropped without warning and the citizens of Japan had no idea that such a thing was even possible. We are taught in American schools that the bomb was necessary. An essential procedure that saved thousands of lives…on both sides….but hearing this frail yet awesomely powerful woman talk about how they were completely unprepared, completely vulnerable to such an attack, completely unaware (due to Japanese propaganda) that the United States was even capable of attacking Japan makes one rethink the intentions of the US. The fact that thousands of people died of the after effects of the bombs radiation and Teramae herself has survived five different kinds of cancers as a direct result of our actions certainly makes one rethink just how many lives were really “saved” due to our actions.
--Japan has long been a culture centered on cleanliness, powerfulness and pride. After the bomb was dropped citizens of Hiroshima that managed to survive the initial blast were treated horribly by their country-men. Many hibakusha (atomic bomb survivors) were harassed in the streets, denied jobs, unable to marry, and given little medical compensation by the government. If anything Teramae was incredibly resentful toward her own country. She herself, an innocent victim of a colossal atrocity has spent the last 60 years fighting off discrimination by her own countrymen…condemned to a life of struggle for no other reason than her city of origin. To think that these people not only had to watch their families and loved ones die in front of them, or live a life riddled with radiation poisoning and cancer and fear of sudden death…but they also have to deal with discrimination from their fellow countrymen over a horrific event that was completely out of their control is a devastating thought. Teramae was relentless against the Japanese government for not taking care of their own.
--There is no way I could ever relate to the pain and suffering of this woman. Her stories, her pain, her life is something that an American could never understand. We are so sheltered in America…so safe and we often forget that that safety comes at a price. But…as Teramae spoke about watching her sister slowly die of radiation poisoning I was able to think about my own sister and how I would feel if I lost her. If nothing else, I feel as though nuclear armament must cease simply because I never want to lose Theresa. Teramae’s sister died of organ failure so that mine wouldn’t have to…and that kind of gift deserves recognition…deserves consideration.

When I first walked through the museum I felt so guilty being a white American. I tried to tell myself before I went in that however much guilt I may take on…there was nothing I could have done, it was part of my country’s history—but it wasn’t my fault…and yet all the reasoning with myself did not help my feelings of intense shame. However, after I heard Teramae speak, I had an easier time reconciling this intense feeling of guilt…I’m not sure why but I think it had something to do with the Japanese reaction to the bomb victims and my realization that mankind often allows hate and fear to get the best of them and this fact is not isolated to one country or one group of people. Part of me—while still torn with inner turmoil—was able to step back and recognize that atrocities are committed by all peoples in all times in human history and that my feelings of guilt were not going to change that. It was tough though. The two days in Hiroshima were hard and I don’t have the words to adequately describe what I felt or what it means to me to have been able to stand there…and perhaps I will never will…but this is something that I never want to forget…something that will stay with me forever and while it was heartbreaking to walk along the river, knowing that buried less than 20 ft down are thousands of bodies and tons and tons of rubble…I am so glad I came here. Reading about this place in history books could never do it justice. Seeing pictures of the tragedy could never convey the magnitude of destruction that occurred on the spot in which I have stood. However much pain I was experiencing along that river shore I kept thinking about my mama, my dad, my family, my friends, my loved ones, and my sister and I guess the shinning message of hope in all of this is while the human race is capable of such hatred and cruelty…it is also capable of forgiveness and love. I am filled with so much love and awe of the human ability to love, to forgive and to live. Teramae had no feelings of hatred towards the US…only pleaded that her pain not be ignored and her story not be forgotten so that other people would never have to go through the horrors that she has. Her message of nuclear disarmament and a peaceful world were in the forefront of her lecture. I suppose the only thing I can do—for the sake of my own sister and those people who I love so much is make sure that her message does not fall upon deaf or apathetic ears.

I send love from Japan…I pray…yes I pray that this never happens again because the thought of losing anyone of you is too much. We live in horrific, yet amazing times and during my two days at Hiroshima I have seen humanity at its worst…and at it’s best.

And I hope I never forget that.

Journal Entry

This is an entry from my own personal journal...just wanted to share

Walking along the rain soaked street in desperate search of a place to sit and dry off and relax from the stressful day I had had was all I was looking for. All I wanted was a cup of tea…nothing more, and yet this simple request seemed too much to hope for. As children with pink Disney umbrellas jumped through puddles and bicyclists careened out of the alleyways at precarious speeds I found myself frantically searching for some place in which my drenched moccasins could take a hiatus from the barrage of rain drops that were so quickly making a pair of nice decent shoes into a den of moldy smelling feet. We took shelter for a short time in a few hopeful spots, however each seemed more depressing than the last and our inability to ask for even a place to sit down was leading us down a very disappointing street. As one shop owner after another gave me looks of complete and utter confusion at my rain-soaked status and my botched attempt to speak Japanese, I resigned myself to a wet and utterly unsatisfactory day. As Abby and I walked, dejected, back to the station she spotted, out of complete chance, a small store aptly named “Royal Coffee and Pub” (Est. 1946) and we decided that we would have one final attempt at warmth before complete resignation. I cannot explain it…but when I walked into that magical and completely accidental store, my entire body felt at peace…as if it suddenly I knew that everything about this day was going to be remedied by the “Royal Coffee and Pub.” Smaller than a studio apartment, I felt as though I had walked into a European sanctuary; complete with a working jukebox, dark wood paneling, leather chairs, and the most magnificent record player that was happily singing American 1940’s classic songs. The man who owned it quietly looked up from his work and gave us the warmest smile I have seen thus far in a country where intense efficiency is the driving force behind customer service. The shop was absent of all other human presence…as if it had been waiting for Abby and I, knowing that at that exact moment all we needed was a quiet place to collect our thoughts. We sat down under a wall lined with American icons; Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Billy Holiday, Ray Charles…men and women that offered little in the ways of comfort when I was living in US, and yet here in Japan made me feel as though I was surrounded by my own unique sense of history…a history I could connect to and appreciate. The owner offered us coffee and tea—which he brewed himself and I stared in awe as he put so much time, effort and care into his work. Proud of his amazing establishment, the owner carefully served us refreshments on beautiful china and as I sipped tea with lemon I began to feel my body relax. The owner, who spoke English but clearly was a man of few words, gave Abby and I historical postage stamps and chopsticks with Japanese cloth dolls sewed to the outside of the covering sheath. Interested in our California roots, he made our experience in his small establishment one that I will never forget and as he put on “Hotel California” in our honor I almost started crying. We…two soaked, tired, scared, inept American girls living amongst a city of millions…were treated as if we were the only people in the entire world, and I felt, for the first time in a month, as though my true self-and not my skin color-was being recognized. As he quietly retreated behind the counter, smiled warmly at us and silently sang along to the music (1940’s jazz), Abby calmly smoked a cigarette and stared out of the slated windows into the bustling world outside and for the first time since I have known her…looked truly at peace. Had I seen myself I know I would have mirrored her look of contentment and happiness as we both recognized that we had found a surprising and unexpected sanctuary in the midst of a world that neither of us understand. Able to lose ourselves in the voices of those who helped to define our own culture we found, for the first time, that sipping Japanese tea and listening to Frank Sinatra did not have to be weird or out of place…that we, even as giant white Americans could find our place in this society…just as others had done before us.

Espanol...no...damn...Nihongo

I have encountered the strangest phenomenon. I have begun to forget my own language. Okay, okay...maybe it's not quite that dramatic, but let me explain. I was writing an email the other day and I could not, for the life of me remember how to spell "arrangement." Now, this happens to me a lot so I wasn't that concerned but I have noticed that even when I'm in a conversation I find myself searching for simple words that normally I would have no trouble accessing on a whim. I'm not really sure what is going on because I'm not speaking any Japanese and I am still surrounded by American students. Perhaps my brain is trying with all of it's might to comprehend the new language in which it is now living and it has to push all extraneous things out. I feel like I am making progress with my Japanese though. So far I've had three classes. and while every single one of them has been torture I can now recognize almost all of the hirigana alphebet without hesitation. This is a huge accomplishment, however in relation to how much work learning the rest of the language is going to be I feel like I've learned one pebbles worth of information. Japanese has four alphebet systems--hirigana, kanji, katakana, and the roman alphebet. Hirigana and kanji each have roughly 50 characters and katakana has an indeterminable amount as most Japanese speakers don't know all of them. SO...right now I can recognize the hirigana symbols...which means I can recognize about 0.1% of the symbols on street signs...however...a new problem arises when you take into account that even though I can recognize these symbols and may even be able to pronounce some of the words...you must then translate the Japanese symbol word into a romanized word which you must then translate into English. I feel like I'm learning 4 different lanugages at the same time. Another interesting problem I have encountered is a) I have responded twice to the sensee in spanish and b) everytime I try to say something I find myself first figuring out how to say something in Spanish and THEN trying to translate that into Japanese. I need to cut this out right away because it's confusing the hell out of me and my teacher who can not for the life of me understand why I would respond to "Nanji desu ka" (What time is it) with "cinco."

So I've been in Japan for almost three weeks now--the time has flown by with suprising speed. It's alarming to think that I have begun to settle into my life here, have become to figure out the trains, can now ask simple questions to people on the street and feel at home amongst the crazy weather, the straw floors, and the salty foods. I have begun to see people I recognize on the streets around my dorm and I actually enjoy going to the market--as opposed to before when I would get a panic attack walking out of the dorm by myself. I walked to school alone the other day, and it was a very peaceful and serene experience because while the stares never stop (and probably never will) I felt like I actually belonged here, rather than my previous feelings of complete and total intrusion. Unfortunately, I don't the Japanese will ever think that I belong here because as I am learning in my classes Japan is one of the most racially intolerant and exclusive societies in the world and unless you are born in Japanese, have a solid Japanese linage, and seriously practice Japanese customs you are considered an outsider. One of my professors has lived in Japan for 20 years, is fluent in Japanese, is married to a Japanese woman, pays Japanese taxes, but has to carry an alien registration card where ever he goes, cannot vote and will never be considered a true Japanese citizen.

Speaking of Japanese culture...last Saturday I attended "culture day" which I was so excited about and actually one of the more attractive things about this particular EAP program. It was hosted by the league of Japanese House Wives and they showed us traditional Japanese flower arranging, calligraphy, paper box making, Japanese tea ceremonies and kimono wearing. It was held on this gorgeous piece of land and with a lake and waterfall...and the whole experience was truly magical and very worthwhile. The tea ceremony was very interesting because there was such passion and history and meaning behind every hand movement and every type of tea used. The theme of that day's ceremony was "the coming of spring" and so supposedly everything from the prayers said before, to the cups used somehow related to that specific theme. The calligraphy was also a hoot because we were supposed to practice and write our own word on these nice placards they had given us, but after it had been decided that I clearly was incapable of such a difficult task...the calligraphy master wrote mine for me. THEN...we got to wear the kimono's which was such an unbelieveably cool experience I can't even describe it. It took two women to dress each of us...and the delicate strength that went into each layer and cord and sash was quite remarkable. At the end the kimono felt tight...but certainly not uncomfortable. It almost felt as though someone was holding me. At the end I was dressed in the most expensive piece of clothing I will probably ever wear ($3000) and had the knot in the back tied in a traditional wedding knot. If ever one was ever to feel pretty after being mentally and physically exhausted and having the signs of three weeks of stress show through my eyes--this would have been it.